"What shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?" (Rom 8:31 & 32 NASB)
Doubt, pain, frustration, confusion, tears, a roller coaster of emotions; all have been my companion over the past few months. Reassurance, reminders, expressions of love, holding me close, peace where there is no peace; all have been The Father's response to my questions.
Yesterday's Daily Bread devotional was in Romans 8, my favorite NT chapter. When I checked my email and Facebook this morning I am again edified by the things I read. I am an emotional mess and He knows it. I need a daily reminder of His love for me and He is very much aware of it. I fight doubt as I recover from losing yet another house, fight fear as I face a mountain of debt and fight intense emotional pain as I face another Resurrection Day without my children. The loving Father that He is brings my attention back to Himself.
Over the past few days He has brought many reminders to me as I keep myself in a place where He feeds my spirit. He has good plans for my future (Jer. 29:11). He will restore the years the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25). He has His Spirit interceding on my behalf with groaning too deep for words (Rom 8:26-27). He helps me to wait for Him, to keep His way (Ps 37:34).
How much longer must I wait for the promised restoration of what was taken from me? How much longer must I wait for the return of my prodigal children? How much longer must I wait for the promised Joy that comes in the Morning? I don't know, but I do know the God of the Impossible. I do know that He loves me. I am even more reminded of this as we have just celebrated the Holiest weekend of the year where we remember our Savior's death and resurrection. He is risen – so how could I continue to wallow in my pain and sorrow? He who spared not His son will also freely restore to me what I am waiting for, just as He restored Job when the fullness of time has come.